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The Folklore of the Golden Baboons & Golden Rascals

In a beautiful paradise called “Tequila Falls” located deep within the rainbow atmosphere of the otherside, lives a highly intelligent, humble, and hard-working breed of golden baboons.

Ancient lore passed down to the elders, telling a tale of a young scout named Ahbibi. His role was simple, scavenging the land in search for food, drink, and resources of value to the clan.

One day, Ahbibi found himself wandering farther away from the village than he ever had before. Even though the sun had now set, he was determined neither to disappoint his family nor the elders and pressed on through the night.

Navigating the terrain was becoming difficult for the young baboon, as the moon was intermittently covered by passing clouds that could only illuminate the landscape so much. Ahbibi, now worried he was lost, climbed an old tree just a few meters away.

As he secured his body amongst some sturdy branches high up in the tree, Ahbibi glared into the vast sea of darkness only to see a spellbinding “green glow”. Little did he know that what he was witnessing would change his and his clan’s lives forever.

Ahbibi quickly lost his desire to get home or the fear of disappointing the elders. He was enchanted with curiosity and scurried down the tree. Like a moth to a flame, he fled as fast as he could towards the now brightening glow. Ahbibi’s heart was pounding in anticipation as he drew closer. His eyes began to make out giant rings canopying the sky with car sized spheres fastened within the landscape. He caught his breath while taking cover behind a small rock formation. He stared in utter awe. A giant iridescent crystal formation illuminated a whole new world that looked as if it were carved by the gods with a tiny river of gold running through the land’s floor.

Ahbibi quickly felt refreshed, rejuvenated, even more youthful. He grew warmer, lighter as soon realized was no longer standing but was floating towards the crystal. Ahbibi had lost all control of body yet felt overwhelmingly calm and relaxed like a baby in his mother’s arms.

Ahbibi’s feet soon embraced the ground below as he stood face to face with the iridescent formation before him. It called him by name and asked for him to place his hands upon the crystal’s surface. His body grew electrified and filled with visions and wisdom passed down from many ancient civilizations before his time.

Visions of a sacred cave filled his head like a projector camera at a drive-in movie. He witnessed an opening that bore a cavern full of gold as far as the eye can see. The fertile land was rich to grow food, herbs and everything his tribe would need to flourish. A golden river of tequila flowed, raising spirits, joy, laughter and memories. Tequila Falls bore wealth beyond wealth for Ahbibi’s clan for what he hoped many generations to come.

As Aahbibi woke from his illustrious dream the next morning, he realized his wayward travels were that of fate that night. He was now a leader, full of strength and wisdom. Ahbibi had inherited a monumental responsibility to protect this newly found paradise. His coffee colored fur even turned golden that day just as the rest of the villagers who soon drank from the river of golden tequila and touched the mystical luster crystal. What was so fascinating was the kaleidoscope of colored furs the baboons displayed, such a vivid array of colors, each reflecting a selected role and characteristic among their clan.

For Ahbibi, his family and villagers had hoped to have generations of lavish riches, bountiful food, peace and prosperity, but that would not be the case. The Golden Baboons would have to adapt and endure many attempts from traveling and neighboring rascals that were envious of their fortune and happiness.

The baboons soon found visitors on the outer banks of the Tequila River, where the fermented agave nectar flowed and sun’s rays shimmered. The cunning crocodiles resided and swam in the river’s tequila-infused currents, resulting in a peculiar state of inebriation. The crocodiles slurred their words, swaying along the riverbanks in an intoxicated dance. They often devise clever schemes, attempting to cajole the baboons into surrendering their gold for passage. The baboons, ever-resourceful, counter these ploys with shrewd strategies of their own. The crocs are employed by the bears, a bunch of wall street bullies that try to create havoc amongst the buyers of goods from Tequila Falls.

The crocodiles are not the only well paid rascals roaming the shadows of Tequila Falls. The mischievous hyenas, known for their laughter echoing through the night, drunk and merry, always have their sights set on the baboons’ gold and the promise of tequila. However, the baboons have discovered a secret – the hyenas were inexplicably terrified of scorpions. Seizing this knowledge, the coffee-furred baboons collect the venomous critters and rehome them around their items of value.

The bears, who have a relentless desire to see the baboons become miserable and unsuccessful, have a peculiar distaste for gold. These bears thrive on sowing chaos and uncertainty, employing tricksters that drive the land’s gold value into tumultuous spirals. Their devious schemes spark ongoing clashes between the bears and the baboons, battles that often reverberate through the land.

The baboons hope one day they can persuade their foes to become friends similar to that of the lions. In their realm there is always danger and mystique intertwined. The lions, led by the majestic King Etzatlan as mentioned, were once sworn enemies. The baboons and lions had come to a precarious truce. King Etzatlan and his pride agreed to process and refine the baboons’ mined gold, sharing in the wealth they collectively unearthed. This collaboration was tenuous but indispensable, for it not only strengthened their unity but also symbolized a harmony that transcends time.

The legends of Tequila Falls paints of thrilling escapades, where golden landscapes collide with raucous laughter, fearsome predators, and unlikely friendships. A symphony of adventure, humor, and magic resounds through this enchanted land, a reminder that even amidst rascals and perils, the spirit of unity, wit, and courage could still triumph over adversity. And so, the saga of Tequila Falls and its mischievous Golden Baboons live on, with hopes the baboons could win the hearts of the rascals, and teach them love and camaraderie. (To be continued…)

Guide to Your Baboon's Fur

Blue Baboons are the master farmers of the land, their nimble fingers tend to vast fields of blue agave. From these enchanting plants flowed the secret elixir – the finest tequila of the land. 

Golden Leopard Baboons, adorned with spots like stars in the night sky, these spots were a reward for their insatiable appetite for bananas. The Golden Leopard baboons are the storytellers as their tales tell of fables filled with wonder and adventure, their words igniting the imaginations of all who listened.


Golden Baboons are the hard working miners, delving into the caverns of Tequila Falls to unearth the precious gold of the land. Their treasure possesses the power to illuminate even the darkest corners of existence. 

Pink Baboons paint the world with the vibrant flowers of the jungle, their creations breathing life into the very air. As they move, they leave behind a trail of living masterpieces that transform the land into a symphony of color and beauty.

Purple Baboons are the mystics, gazing at the stars and deciphering the secrets they hold. Whispers suggest that they could glimpse the future through the constellations of the stars, guiding their tribe through both calm and tempest.

White Baboons embody healing, their touch a gentle remedy for wounds and ailments. They conjure potions of health from bitter herbs, their presence a soothing balm for all who cross their path.

Smokey Baboons are enigmatic tricksters, like smoke they dissipate into the shadows. Their mastery of illusion paints their every move with mystery, leaving whispers of intrigue in their wake.

Brown Baboons etch intricate patterns onto trees and rocks, crafting a tapestry that tells the story of the land. They’re masters of the forest and all earthly things.


Rainbow Baboons radiate joy, their laughter a chorus that brightens even the darkest days. With a touch, they paint rainbows across the sky, a reminder of beauty emerging from turmoil. The rainbow baboons bring smiles and warmth to the land.


Zomboons, the green zombie baboons, bring a touch of the supernatural to the land. Born from battles that took their lives, they rise from their earthly graves each full moon as their luminous eyes hold stories of sorrow and resilience, a testament to the sacrifices made to safeguard their beloved Tequila Falls.

Mango Baboons are stewards of the jungle’s bounty, cultivating mango groves that feed both baboons and travelers alike. Their presence is a promise of sustenance and abundance as they cultivate the fruits and vegetables of the land.


Black Baboons are the keepers of secrets, their wise gazes hide ancient knowledge passed down through generations. They stand as guardians of the land’s mysteries. Their powers grow stronger at sundown.

Red Baboons are fierce warriors, their fiery spirit evident in every step they take. They are the protectors of Tequila Falls, defending it against all who dare threaten its magic and abundance, especially the rascals.

Gray Baboons are the wanderers, exploring every nook and cranny of the land. Their tales speak of adventure and discovery, their restless souls always seeking something new. They are the eyes and ears of Tequila Falls.